A psychopaths wet dream...
I remember one lonely late night I was on the ESRB's website searching for rated M PC games and this caught my eye. It was practically rated M for everything so the first instinctive move was to search google videos (early 2004, way before Youtube gained any attention) to see if this was any good. The video starts with the main character urinated and decapitating innocent civilians. My jaw hit the floor and the first conscious thought that hit my mind was- "I NEED THIS GAME!". So for a consecutive 2 hours, mind you that this was about 2 in the morning, my sole task was to hunt for this game on the internet... Nothing turned up until I the only option left was to buy it off the developer's website. DAMN... Gotta steal mommies wallet again. And off I went to practically STEAL my mothers VISA card. I felt like **** but the game, at the time, was worth the risk of getting grounded for 3 months. Without further adieu, I bought it, downloaded it, installed it, AND holy **** **** this is the most out of control psychopathic and stress melting game I have ever played! I spent the last remaining morning hours dedicated to my beloved Postal 2.
Now for the actual review. NYAH!
First impression from the opening scene were hilarious. The story is about a washed up trailer living loser named Postal Dude that has to do tasks for his **** of a wife, but during these tasks he gets into very peculiar situations, if I say so myself *cough* *cough* church level *cough* *cough*. Yeah, not much to the story but who gives a flying **** Postal 2 stands on its own merit and it's not trying to live up to any ground of splendour, unlike the god awful Saints Row the Third or as I like to call it- Saints Row the TURD!
The humor is absolutely hilarious. Yes it's dark, crude, rude, whatever but IT'S ACTUALLY FUNNY! From the gimps to the transvestites, from the terrorists to the church level, from making people vomit to using cats as suppressors, peeing on people, smoking crack to gain health, making a person puke by peing on her face and then decapitating her with a shovel and watching the puke squirt out of the neck stump, GARY COLEMAN! IT'S ALL FUNNY! Not to mention the incredibly hilarious lines that the Postal Dude blurts out through out the cutscenes and whenever you kill someone - "wouldn't it be more correct to kill the women and minorities first?" "Did someone slaughter a goat in here?" I died laughing... Absolutely great! And let me tell you this, if you don't laugh once during the course of the whole game there is something wrong with you! (hypocritical in the sense of how totaly loco this game is, but seriously this is funny)
The graphics are okay, it's a bit rough on the edges but they're not entirely horrid. Mechanics are like your standard FPS game. Not much to say in this catagory.
For the record, I've probably spent more hours on this game than ANY other game accumatively (not to mention the MODS and expansion pack). I just love coming back to this game when I'm bored or pissed off. You have no idea until you play this game how good it feels to kill someone with a shovel. PUT YOUR STRESS BALLS AWAY, PUT POSTAL 2 IN AND LET THE STRESS AND FRUSTRATION MELT FROM YOUR MIND!
Multiplayer is okay... yeah, don't really play it.
Overall, Postal 2 is a timeless gem that will stand out as the most insane game to ever grip the gaming market. It literally has perfected the art of distasteful humor and graphic violence in video games, and trust me guys I played a TON of video games to hold this game to that degree. If you want a game that you can come back to year after year even after finishing this game multiple times than look no further -The holy grail of absurd all out don't-give-a-F-how-offensive-this-game-is type of games is it. Yeah, it's good...
I would also like to point out that the catagory for the "Intense Violence" Description was made because fo this game... THEY HAD TO MAKE ANOTHER VIOLENCE CATAGORY TO ACCURATELY DESCRIBE HOW AWSOMELY BRUTAL THE VIOLENCE IS. Now I'm done. Pick it up, play it, love it, stick your "D" in the CD hole or put it up your 'A' if you don't have one. you know what I need to shut up...