Booting up the game I was greeted by a lovely 8-bit seaming castle with lots of colour, lovely and well crafted music setting the scene and not much else bar a button to get the ball rolling. Entering the whole game blind and not knowing what I was in for I was pleased to see the mechanics of the game were nice and easy to follow and that my small and valiant knight (who I named Mcgibbens the Third) was ready for his apparently sepia coloured adventure.
Following the instructions on the screen I got to what I assumed was the first boss. Long hall way, no music, big empty room, looked like battle one in my quest to do... something was finally going happen. Then upon hitting the man at the end of the hallway, the screen went white and I was back at the main menu. Confused and feeling a tad ripped off I started the game again expecting more sepia and Mcgibbens ready to stride forth on another short adventure. This was not the case. Mcgibbens had died in that first quest (also known as the tutorial) and was now being succeeded by one of his three handicapped descendants. So upon reading their names and their traits I settled on a female knight, who was colour blind and named Helga. The game then asked me to acquire a black smith to forge weapons and armour for my new colour blind heroine. So that was purchased and with out warning a small manor sprung out of the floor like a pop up T-Rex in book about dinosaurs aimed at children. So I left my pop up manor and was faced with Helga in black and white, I now knew what the colour blind trait did. After then speaking to the blacksmith who apparently sells one kind of armour and nothing more, I encountered Charon who was stood out side of what I assumed was the castle Mcgibbens met a terrible fate. Long story short he robbed me of my few remaining gold and sent me inside.
My adventure was in full swing Helga was slashing her way through tables and chairs and finding money, reading books about the story and who had last been through and feeling pretty dandy. That was until I entered the first room and was murdered by a flying eye and a painting. After I watched Helga breath her last breath she provided me with parting advice about other areas of the castle and I was sent back to the main menu... again. After restarting and seeing I had to chose another hero who would follow in Helga's foot steps I chose a mage named Sue who had no traits and seemed like the hero this castle needed to show it what for. So Chardon stole my money again and I went inside the starting room with its tables, chairs and book were all the same, however the map had reset. I just assumed that this was because Sue didn't know her way around the castle and the following room would have the eye and the painting ready to go a few rounds...I was wrong. The map had changed and the title of the game now made sense (slow off the mark I know). This time it was hallway after hallway after spike filled room after spike filled room. Sue managed to get more money than Helga but was then done in by some wizards. So Sue died gave me some parting words that didn't make sense at that point in time. What happened next?
Hello Mr Main Menu my old friend, and hello more inept heroes.
I did this for what I thought was a few minutes upgrading my manor and pressing deeper into the bowls with more oddly named characters laughing and crying in equal measure as hero after hero fell prey to the ever changing castle. Realising it was now three am and I started at nine pm I came to a conclusion about Rouge Legacy...
Rogue Legacy likes to make you feel like your pressing forward but when in essence your not. However when the game does let you press forward, even just a tiny amount you want to keep going, you want to see what strange names and traits your new heroes are going to have and you want to explore the other areas of the castle and find out what happened to Mcgibbens and his fallen descendants. If you haven't played this gem go and play it. Just make sure you have no prior commitments for the rest of the week.