I don't know if it's me or you Deus Ex

User Rating: 5 | Deus Ex: Human Revolution PC

But it's pretty convenient to blame you.

I don't normally write in bullet points but there are just so fucking many niggling issues it seems appropriate. The game wasn't awful and I made it about 12hrs through, but these little things added up:

  • There is a mini cutscene for jumping off a height. No I don't want to sit there and wait to watch literally the exact same cutscene every time I jump off something.
  • There is a mini cutscene for climbing on a ladder. No.
  • Micromanaging grenade types and mines. Holy shit, just let me cycle through them. Micromanaging the entire inventory actually. I can see there are only a few distinct types of items. I don't need to drag
  • The quick access menu is flawed for the same reasons. Also due to scarcity of resources, and the fact that the menu fucking autohides omg (don't autohide the quick access menu if you're going to be needing it regularly). How am I supposed to tell what each number does if it's constantly changing.
  • That is why you don't have 5 different things for filling up energy bars. Also what kind of shitty fucking enhancements require an energy bar every time you want to use them. You can fill 5 batteries... but if you want the other 4 bars to fill, you need to eat energy bars. Ridiculous.
  • You can't crouch and hack. Adam "daft ****" Jensen stands up as tall as he can and slobbers over the screen shouting "MARCO" and giggling. Meanwhile an armed guard notices you.
  • Holding shift doesn't break crouch and move into run. Darting from cover to cover which is frequently needed in close quarters stealth is very useful. Unfortunately it is very clumsy in this game.
  • The snap cover system is literally appalling. Sometimes Adam will peak straight away, sometimes he will actually get behind the cover. Cover to cover dash often fails.
  • You can't stealth take down guards face on as they come around a corner, it has to be from behind. This slows down stealth way more than it needs to and is very inconsistent with the take down animation which is basically instant king-hit shit. If you do attempt a front-on take down, it works.
  • The fucking 4 email limit, holy shit, don't try to work that in as if it's part of the game world. "4 emails is the law". No. No. No. No.

I can think of plenty of games that do all the things that Deus Ex do but better. Chrome, Watch_Dogs, Chronicles of Riddick & MGS. The major difference in opinion is fanboy hype imo.

On all fronts, the story was mediocre and was not executed well. The illuminati. I... I just... You can do better you know. The illuminati is a device used by people who are too stupid to genuinely come to a theory on why shit happens. You just defer it to the illuminati. It is lazy in the same way religious people come up with a deity. Oh ****... now I understand why it's called Deus Ex, because the entire plot hinges on a lame deus ex machina.

There was a turning point in this game. The hub levels were actually pretty interesting and detailed and the side-missions were fun. Some of the earlier levels were kind of fun too. I also didn't realise there was a quick save / quick load feature as they conveniently committed it from the controls menu... this would have made the game much more enjoyable. But basically all those little things above added up and I realised I had lost all interest in the plot.